This Monster

Here I sit
Cold and alone on the hard concrete
Feeling foolish yet remaining simply to cater to the appetite of pride
My mistakes have snared me
Snatched me up and thrown me down
But though I know you hear
Though I know you forgive
In stubborn pride I sit
Pen and paper in hand
Cold and alone on the hard concrete
How many times have I sat here?
How many times have I fed this brutal monster?
This monster who clamps it’s jaws around my life
Who sucks the life blood from my veins
And is never satisfied
Must I run this track for 40 years before I realize
Before I cease to feed my pride and crush his head instead?
His devices are not so powerful
His tactics are old and frail
Will I remain mistress to pride
Or will humility prevail?