Sin & Ruined

I was thinking about that word, ruined. About the different meanings it can have. I decided to use it as a title and then just started to write some my thoughts on it as a poem. The first one was relatively negative. I'd imagined something more positive and when I reread it later I decided to try again. The result is two poems because I couldn't make them come together. So I've changed the name of the first one to 'Sin', although they are both about Ruin.

Sin.

I’ve heard the stories
Seen the pictures on the walls
I’ve stood to watch as you fall from grace
Ruined, soiled, in need of repair
I’ve rushed off, left you hanging there
Joining in an age old strain
About a snake, a woman and some suffering
I’ve lived my life,
Failed the test,
And well, c’mon, you know the rest
I’ve touched and I’ve tasted
I’ve sneered and I’ve scorned
Ruined all of the garments
I was meant to have worn
Indulgent in nature
Suffering foolish neglect
The words of my mouth
Ensnare me in debt


Ruined


You have damaged me beyond repair
I am fallen, completely overwhelmed,
You have destroyed me,
I am ruined by the love you’ve given
Lost to all my desire for selfishness
I have fallen before you in my devastation
Take me in Lord,
Number me among your flock
And rent the veil that keeps me from you

Ruined, ruined by you,
I want to be ruined by you.
Destroyed and drove to distraction
In you alone I find satisfaction
In your eyes alone do I see hope
And so I cry out, I demand
That you ruin me.

Break my heart,
Tear down my foolish notions
Sear my eyes and scorch my ears
Until what you see is what I see
And what you hear is what I hear
Devastate my senses,
Rewire my brain; I want to think like you
So that every day I’m breathing
Every moment I’ll be seizing
Will be lived in fullness for you.


Cole.

Attending

I see them standing at the door,
Eating cakes and cookies
Just like they did before
Silent shufflers remembering
All the years long gone
Too young, too young,
Such pain, terrible pain,
Wiping sad eyes,
Muttering quick goodbyes,
Attending to the memory
With sombre diligence
That is quickly forgotten
Within the swells of living
Why is it wise to attend?
Why is it wise to drink deep,
To open wide our mouths
And embrace the kiss of death?
Why is it wise to attend?
To mournfully mutter
And declare to the world
That the glow of youth
Was upon their cheeks
And O’ it is a shame
That pain became them.
Where God is not invited,
And the church becomes a tomb
As the resurrected life
And the blessed power of grace
Is denied acknowledgement.
Why is it wise to linger there?
To attend and lend your ears
Your fears, your tears,
To the embrace of death?
Why is it wise to embrace death
When the living God
Provides life beyond the grave?
Foolish shufflers attending to death
Stir your tongues to praise
Turn your hearts to God,
And run after the abundant life
For wise is the one who attends
To drink deep and satisfy themselves
At the banquet of the living of God.

Caterpillar

Sweet caterpillar
Wound so tight
Wrapped so close
Feed upon the peace
That now encloses you.

Feed upon the soft whispers
Feed upon the love
That God has weaved around you
Be nourished by his care

Sweet caterpillar
Lay still and listen
Do not fight the isolation
Find strength in his voice
Listen as he blesses you

Drink deep of destiny
Drink of the arcane knowledge
The whispered mysteries
Avowed to your spirit.

Sweet caterpillar
Wait for his leading
Wait to hear his call
Remain in peaceful habitation
Till he calls forth your destination

Take in all he has for you
Absorb the encouragement he offers
You may be lonely darling,
But you are not alone

Sweet caterpillar
Take heart
Do not grow weary
Be encouraged by his presence
You will be lifted up.

Contend for that which is promised
Fight to attain the place he has for you
Hold fast to him;
All that he declares will be

Fight sweet one,
Fight.
Struggle for breakthrough.
Refuse the constraints.
Feel the strength he has built in you.

In the strain there is beauty,
In the struggle there is grace.
Life blood starts pumping
Blood is empowering.

Take the promises!
Fight for the release!
Strain against all that holds you back,
All that you no longer are.
Take hold of destiny.

Beautiful creature
You are new.
Coloured by intimacy
Painted by love.

Revel at the beauty you have become,
Stare upon the hand of God
The careful guide and artisan
That has handcrafted you
Lift your wings and fly to him.

Tiny worm with feet on ground
No more to hold you back
Caterpillar baby,
This I declare:
No more will you be,
What you have always been.

Artisan

Plant me a garden; paint me a sunrise
Give me a glimpse of the world through your eyes.
I want to see how love holds up the stars
I want to see your fingerprints on the sandy shores
I want to watch you unfold the heavens,
To gaze upon your careful mastery
And as I lay and rest beneath your gaze
As my eyes close,
I want to see you in my dreams
Measuring and mapping the days of my life.
I want to see you creating me,
Day by day to watch you forming me.
Twisting, smoothing, creasing the clay
Always perfecting, sculpting my life
Love running from your fingers,
Filling me up.
Filling me up with more of you.
Making me into a mirror,
A beautiful mirror that reflects your beauty.
That reflects the abundance,
The abundance of the life you breathe into me.
Master, careful artisan, pour into me your talent
Do not hold back as you form me.
Make me a display of your greatness.
I want to be heralded as a reflection of your majesty.
A wonderful demonstration of all that you are.
I will worship and adore you.
I will seek you.
Artisan, crafter of the depths and highest peaks,
Take me into your hand
Break me, bend me, form me there.
So that I may be called fit to carry,
Worthy to hold,
The overflow of your anointing
The cleansing blood of the lamb.


Quickly wrote prayer "poem"

Entertaining You

When I lift my voice and sing
When my fingers hit these keys
And the beat of the drums begins to pulse
I will sing for no one,
I will play for no one but you.

Though the crowd surrounds me
Expectant and aware
Of the choices I have made
And the words I choose to sing.
Still I will sing for no one,
I will play for no one but you.

Jehovah, Jehovah
Great I Am
I am not here to entertain
I will sing for no one,
I will play for no one but you.

God fallen on my knees,
My heart laid bare
This is where I sing
Sweet music to your ears
With repentant heart
And eyes lifted high
I am entertaining you.
Entertaining you.

Rush

Always in a hurry,
Getting no where fast,
Rushing through your day
Just like you did the last

There’s no rest for the busy
No time to stop and chat
So why should Sunday morning
Be the day you drop the hat?

You sit through Sunday service
As the worship team parades
Playing music chosen for you
To encourage your charade

Rushed on through the worship
Announcements mixed with praise
Jerky starts and choppy stops
To suit your busy ways

The sermon begins-
The sermon ends.

You stand and stretch;
Relieved…
Then head on down to fellowship
Before you take your leave.

Through out the week I follow you,
I hang around your neck.
Placed with careful faithfulness,
Though suffering neglect.

You’ve bound my mouth and tied my hands,
From my eyes you look away.
A silent God on a golden cross
I won’t get in your way.

Wrote at the beginning of November.

Giving Thanks

We run to meet you in your temple
We rush to be there by your side
As, with eager hands,
We search your pockets.
With expectant greed,
We seek them out.

Lord, Lord,
We cry to you,
And with pouting lips demand
The rewards of our pilgrimage
The blessings from your hands.

We’ve heard of golden fortresses
We’ve heard of sparkling streets
But we’ve never seen your blessings
So in foolishness we weep

In foolishness we give to you,
Reluctant tithes and praise
So long as your requirements
Don’t disrupt our foolish ways

We can’t understand your sacrifice,
But alas, we’ve never tried.
Cause in truth we do not wonder,
We know just why you died.

It was because you loved us,
And it’s no wonder why
We are a pleasant people
We don’t even have to try.

We’re generous in giving,
We hate violence, rape and crime
We’ve got programs for the homeless
They just have to stand in line.

We’ve got doctors, lawyers, nurses
Working for the greater good
Defining rights and freedoms
Just as we know they should

Lovely, O so lovely
Are the crowns we seek to wear
Fit with scarlet rubies,
And set with flawless care

Precious, O so precious
Are the gowns that we’ll adorn
Woven strands of glory,
As our Saviour must have worn

So we rush into your temple
And we leave your pockets bare.
So focused on our mission
That we hardly see you there.

So silently you watch us.
You do not say a word.
And which one of us would notice?
Or stop to thank you, Lord?

You hang above us silent,
As we gamble for your clothes,
Consumed with sin and foolish,
You are the one we loathe.

Cause your blessings do not satisfy
The cravings of our heart,
We desire something deeper
Than the things you can impart

So we turn from you in anger
And admonish all our praise
Upon our paper idols
And our blessed worldly ways.

Yet still you bleed before us
Naked, bruised and torn
Crying out for nothing
Receiving naught but scorn

As we’re rushing down the sidewalk
We pass right by your cross
While we’re seeking satisfaction
Never knowing our great loss

And your blood is raining down on us
But our umbrella’s in the way
And we keep on with our busy lives
Cause we can’t get wet today

We cannot turn to look at you
And we cannot drop our guard
Cause if we seen you’re face we’d know
And that would be too hard.

We’d know that we are sinners
We’d know we put you there
We’d see our selfish lives laid out
Our empty hearts true fare

And though such solemn knowledge
Would be for the greater good
We do not want to turn away
From all we know we should.