Waiting

***So my Dad, who knows very little about computers, is a genius in general because somehow he's fixed my computer so that it gets power again. Which is amazing and really cheap. (Love your creativity Dad.) It's a temporary fix but my stuff is safe again and I'm over joyed. God is very good... This is 'Waiting', one of the poems rescued by my Dad's genius. It has another half, God's half, but it's not yet complete. So yeah... Waiting.***



Waiting

Isaiah 8:17
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I will wait upon the Lord, that hides
His face from the house of Jacob,
and I will look for him.


I sit here quietly,
Waiting…

At first it seems so easy,
And I find the world around me
Is enough to breed content
As I sit,
Waiting…

But the minutes grow longer
The world shifts and changes
And I begin to wonder,
Whether you have forgotten me.
Because, I still sit,
Waiting…

I begin to move and shift,
I glance around,
At the ever moving world,
My reminder that you have not come,
Silence becomes a mocking voice,
It curses me,
As I sit,
Waiting…

When I first came here,
I was eager,
Delighted with the thought of you,
Anxious to make your acquaintance,
My thoughts towards you were happy,
They were rapturous and praised you,
They have since become sour.
I am restless, anxious,
Unhappy as I remain,
Waiting…

I can sit no longer and so I stand,
My feet are taunt,
And bitterness swells in my heart,
As I begin to pace.
Furious and confused,
I confront you in your silence.
Accusing you of indifference.
I do not understand,
Nor do I wish to consider,
The reasons for your delay.
I clench my teeth,
And I wait…

I compose in my head,
Witty remarks and bitter reproaches,
Intending to scold you
Upon your arrival.
I toy with the words,
Pondering their strength
And consider my delivery of them.
I am upset,
Hurt and offended,
No excuse can comfort me.
So I comfort myself,
And inwardly I lash out,
As I pace impatiently.
Waiting…

I drop into my chair once more
Exhausted by the emotions
Coursing through me.
And I rest my head in my hands.
I do not understand your delay,
I do not know where you are.
Confused and hurt I begin to cry,
Perhaps you do not love me as you say
Perhaps I have injured your affection
Towards me in some way.
In hopeless desperation,
I pray it is not true.
And I continue
Waiting…